Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forever
by Nyx-Incarnate
Summary: When Clint Barton goes missing whilst on a mission in Burma. Natasha seeks solace in hoping that somehow, her messages still get through to him


_They say goodbye is always the __hardest part. But sometimes...__Goodbye doesn't have to mean forever._

**Wednesday October 9th:**

We got the call we'd been waiting for today; as of 7:am October 9th 2013, S.H.I.E.L.D agent Clint Barton was announced M.I.A. You'll back to us; to me. Won't you?

**Saturday October 12th:**

I called your phone today. No real reason behind it. I suppose I just wanted to hear that ridiculous voice of yours; it didn't make me feel better, and right now I'm regretting I ever did it at all

**Sunday October 13th:**

Superstition says 13's unlucky for some, right? Tony has had enough of waiting and we're putting together our own search party. Maybe we can make 13 lucky for us

**Friday October 18th:**

We've been in Burma for three days. Following a trail that went cold. Turns out you walked straight into hostile territory, was that your plan? You always were a stupid bastard, but I never held it against you until now.

**Monday October 27th : **

We tracked the last signal from the GPS on your phone to a cave; really, a cave? Of all the places you chose to run the operation from, you chose this place?...Yeah, really love what you've done with the place.

**Thursday October 30th : **

You're passed out in some god forsaken corner of the forest, aren't you? I told you, you can't handle your drink; but you never listen. Happy Birthday, Barton

**Friday October 31st: **

We got ambushed today, headed into the forest. Steve got beat up pretty bad; and of course Banner tore through the forest and took out 2 dozen guys like they were bowling skittles. Never would have thought Burma had a militia...Just what the hell were you doing out here? I just hope you're okay.

**Sunday November 3rd: **

Huh, 3rd of November. 12 years ago today, you made a different call. Trust it to be me coming to save your sorry ass this time around.

**Wednesday November 6th:**

Clever, clever Barton. Setting up decoy camps. I like to think I was the one to teach you that. You told me I was insane wasting time doing so...now you're the one doing it. We found your phone though... Why am I still sending you these texts? It's not like you'll see them... Have I crossed the line of hopeful into plain delusional?

**Thursday November 14th:**

So it's just Stark and myself now. Banner and Rogers were called back to New York. Fury says we're flogging a dead horse, that if we can't find you nobody will. Give me a sign, give me something... Tonys shouting up ahead...Let this be good, please for the love of god. Let this be _good._

**Monday November 18th: **

You came to me in my dreams on the flight home. Told me not to cry; that you weren't worth my tears. You promised me you'd always be here... The one promise you swore you'd never break '_You've been hurt too much in the past, Nat. I'll never hurt you like that' _

**Tuesday November 19th: **

The pain's too much. When will it end?

**Tuesday December 3rd: **

That question you asked me before you left; I said I had to think about it? I would have said yes. Of course I would have said yes. If I had of before you left, would it have made a difference?

**Sunday December 8th:**

Your funeral was today. You would have been impressed with the turnout. Not a dry eye in the place either. Turns out a lot of people loved you. If I had a dollar for the amount of people that said ' I'm sorry for your loss, Ms Romanoff'. I told them no, It's Barton now...

**Thursday December 12th: **

Isn't it morbid; how I've sat that fucking urn on my windowsill, because believe it or not, it makes me feel safe...A false sense of security that you're still here, looking out for me. You'll always have my back, right?

**Saturday January 4th:**

I haven't forgotten you, definitely haven't forgotten you. I just don't know what to say. I fly out to Scotland today...Maybe I'll do what we always said... We can finally climb that mountain together, and this time it won't be metaphorical.

**Friday January 10th:**

I spent 4 hours stood at the top of Ben Nevis today... Just sat...watching; perhaps I was waiting for something, who knows. That was when it hit me. It was the perfect place to let you go. You always did prefer to he high up, don't get much higher than the top of a mountain. I watched you drift off into the sunset, until eventually you were gone from me completely. But you'll always live on forever; in my head and in my heart. A wise man once told me _' Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forever'_

**Saturday January 11th: **

Oh, I forgot to tell you; Я люблю тебя


End file.
